desires

you may decide whether to read or not..

cos it's gonna be a rubbish entry..

i dunno..

i find myself rather useless..
even though *you* gave me some sort of encouragement..
but it didnt work..maybe this encouragement is not use-able here..

n, i'm not a music person..
i tried and tried..
but i jus cant play it well..

i wonder how long i can last..
everytime going to lesson wif such a loser image..
i wanna use this holiday to complete at least 3 songs(steady n well played)..

i will prove that i can defeat them wif such a lousy weapon..
they haf good weapons..so wad? i'm not afraid..
n, in addition, i will complete that piano song within the remaining time i've got..
n, i will be proud of myself..even though i'm not the best..
must think lei..who am i? haha..


o man..
i used to laugh or smile cos of you..
but now, i feel like crying..
pls tell me is it cos i think too much or wad..
but this feeling is so weird..
i cant even figure out wad's the prob..
you sort of given me a signal to tell me to STOP now..
i'm thinking abt it all day long..
should i STOP or GO?

by Stopping, i might save myself from a pool of sadness..but, i might regret it..
if i cont to Go, i might either drown myself in a pool of sadness or flying high in the sky..

but, all i can say is that i will take the risk- cont going..but not as much as b4..
i want fate to decide it..that will be the best..

n now, i freaking scared that the same thing would happen..
this prob is not related to *you* though..
who can i turn to to say this?
perhaps *you* can help me..
but..nvm..

OK..readers, if u all dunno wth i'm writing, then dun care abt it..
i noe wad i'm writing can le..

PS: who's free to acc me to a place this Sat?



be true to urself
9:59 PM

skinny-pig-why-am-i-giving-myself-false

Monday, September 01, 2008
today started out quite well..
but cos of something that spoilt my mood..
nvm then..
met up wif SW, Ling n MF..
supposedly going to Sentosa..
but weather wasn't good..

ended up going for interview at Giraffe..
yes, Ling n I went for it..
n, it's my 16th interview since the day i came into this world..
the manager at 1st like kinda dun wanna interview cos of my age..
not yet legal..cos she like 17??
yea..but she still interviewed me anyway..
interview srsly sucks..
i was stuck at 1 point of time..lost of words..
i knew it's a GG wan already..dun needa wait for phone call..


okok..after our interview, Emily came..we went shopping..
i didnt buy anything..good yea..
blah blah blah..
MF, Emily, SW n I went to Emily's house..
had dinner there..
and watched HK drama..
yea..i love dramas..
n, i wanted to go home early cos sleepy liao..
when walking home wif the 2 of them, was laughing our way through..
shh!! dun say out wad happen ar..haha..it's our secret!!
LOL!!

BUT!!!
something made me kinda upset..yet delighted..
i wanna cry liao(for both bad n good reasons)..
SW, ur 24/7 phone will soon be useful..
perhaps not..
haha..

ur eyes told me the truth..
ur wink nv fails to make someone alive..
ur cuteness nv fails to make someone smile..
ur smile nv fails to enlighten somebody's day..
ok..i shall not think abt it anymore le..
unless the bad thing really happen then i will see how..
WL!!! u are thinking too much already man!!
like wad my gals said "the more u think, the more it will not fulfill"..
i shall faster go find a job like wad somebody said..
and go kill my time working n working...

n, i did something srsly crazy..
ok..i'm finding my own grave..
hopefully not..

i'm not gonna cry yet..yea..
girls like me are brave n strong!! haha..sry for being thick skin..
who cares..haha..i'm being myself..no doubt abt it..
SP ar SP, anyway, Jia You bah..



be true to urself
11:58 PM

should i should not

as wad i said..

i will be back here today..haha..
but, it's gonna be a long post..
so, up to you whether u wanna close this window or continue reading..



i'm quite troubled by some things currently..
i really dunno wad to do..
but i'm glad that some of u are there for me..
since the start of that day, i'm prepared to face any prob that comes my way..
no matter wad the outcome will be, i will still be me, the world will still revolve..
maybe it's time to say out..
i'm brave..no fear..haha!


nth much special happened..
only studying studying yet studying..
waiting waiting n waiting for somebody's promise to come..
that day will determine everything..

it's been dunno how many days since we last chatted..
o well, everyone's busy now..
maybe cos i didnt take the initiative too..



i'm srsly obsessed wif *HIM* n Fireworks...
o man..
yea, went out wif Ling ytd..
we walked the whole Marina Sq jus to find a place to dine..
we ended up at Subway..
after which, we went over to Esplanade Bridge n waited for Fireworks to start..
waited for an hr plus..



it's Singapore Fireworks Festival 2008..
ytd's Fireworks was France wan..French Romance..
i expected more from this..kinda disappointed..
while waiting.. i like this..like little stars..

humans are like this..haha..Wow! cos got Fireworks.. then Wa! cos pollution..HAHA!

video


video


video



i love this sound effect..

today's is Korean wan..Korean Fantasia..

went to watch today's event wif Cheryl n YL..we met at Cityhall MRT...had Subway at Marina..yea, it's Subway AGAIN..LOL!!
then to Marina Bay Floating Gallery..we've got tickets..ahha..actually the tickets are Cheryl's mum wan..Thanks man..there got Carnival..but sianz wan la..hehe..I wanna go to the Christmas Market in Nuremberg, Germany!! Also, i wan a Venetian mask...dunno wad it is, go check it out! haha..i noe i kinda gl la..haha..

the performance there not very nice lei..should haf gone later..
o yea, dreams sometimes tell us not to forget some things..like wad i dreamt of ytd..it told me not to forget to bring the tickets for today's event..haha..

Subway, Eat Fresh..haha!

Guess wad's that on top bah..haha..







under my umbrella..srsly my umbrella..HAHA!



next SG gal? haha..joke of the day man!! but my dream la..cant be pilot..can be air stewardess bah..



i wanna LOL but i cant..face so damn fat!!


if my eyes were bigger, nose sharper, face slimmer..but i'm born like this..so accept who u r..



guess which one is mine? as easy as ABC rite..



artistic..haha..jk..



blue light!! lovely..







see, it's the WOW n WA again..HAHA!!



video

video

video
overall, the Korean wan is nicer..
my 7th show this yr!! u can see how obsessed i'm..
1- New Year at Genting(wif Cheryl)..
2- CNY at Chinatown(wif Eli, Ling n Wen)..
3- Ling's BD(wif the 6 gals)..
4- NDP NE show(wif Cheryl n YL)..
5- National Day(wif MF n Veron)..
6- Ytd(wif Ling)..
7- today(wif Cheryl n YL)..
8- ?? wif my guy?? lol!! wad a joke..
anyway, thanks to those whom watched wif me..appreciated!!


anyway, 2 papers down..
left wif Bio Ana n Engineering Math..
6 more days to Holidays!!
n, i finally had my Haribo Gummy!!

i noe no link to wad i said of exams..haha..


these are my current plans during the holidays..
i prefer last yr..
got more things to do..
30 Aug- RSAF open house..
1 week of Sep- 1 of the days to Sentosa n perhaps Keppel Bay wif my gals..another day for the Southern Ridges..
13 & 14 Sep- P. Hantu expedition..this yr must take tons of pics..
19 Sep- 2B/22 class gathering..
25 Sep- my Daddy's BD..
26 Sep- Changi airport wif YL n Cheryl..
28 Sep- a special day..F1 race also(but nt goin la)..
29/30 Sep- Motorshow wif whoever who wanna go wif me..
6-9 Oct- PPCDL..

i think other days for working n outings bah..not forgetting that i must Run at least 3 times a week(track n hill/long distance)..
i wanna go Changi Airport see planes, airplane rides even better right?
i wanna go Cycling, bowling, bball-ing, treetop walk n many more..
i wanna learn n be able to roller blade n swim during this long holiday!
see whether my parents wanna bring me overseas anot also..
ALSO, the promise made..hahaha!! see if he still remembers..



be true to urself

poly-50

1stly, Happy Birthday to these ppl..haha..
Tracy, Gabriel and Xin Rui..

lol..jus now quite funny while talking to Tracy..haha..
you will be laughing n laughing when there's Tracy..LOL..

anyway, today's Poly 50..
went there see see..
cos last year didnt see..
so damn messy sia..
haha..

sianz..
today jus finish FMB presentation..
tml's the last presentation for this Sem..
o man...must do well..HEHE..

suddenly not feeling that well again...
maybe compressed too much sad things in the past..
haha...everything will be fine..smilez!!



be true to urself

shopping free

Monday, June 30, 2008
o man..half a yr jus passed like this..wif all sorts of events and stuff happening..o yea, went out wif Fang n Wen ytd..Fang left early..Wen n I had Starbucks..she had her usual drink : Caramel Frap..while I had Dark Mocha Frap..but no matter wad, i still love Java Chip..haha..Dark Mocha Frap..Wen n I had shopping spree..haha..is her instead..

/interview-wif-3-guys

sat: my organ teacher gave us a new song..Classical piece..more of 20th century..i find that it's easier than JOC pieces la(but she said it's the easiest

Happy Leap YR

Friday, February 29, 2008

Happy Leap YR!! haha...and happy BD to my fave Sanrio char..Pochacco!!

i had 2 bad dreams this morning..1st one, i dreamt that i was out wif a friend(i shall not say who, will scare my friend sia) then we saw that the whole street was filled wif beggars..then we walked past a beggar who seems super active and gangster like to me..then i said that i didnt wan to give him any $..then got 3 other people came up to us and 2 of them grabbed my friend..
then the HEAD said "if you dun give me $, i will kill ur friend!!"..
then i asked him "how much?"..
then he said "any amt will do...even $1 also can.."
then i was like -_-'''..
then i gave him all my coins i had..which was like $3..lol!! then they let go of us..so weird dream also got..
the other dream is that I went to NSC for training wif the other sailors..then i forgotten how to rig the byte AGAIN!! then i was scolded very badly by our coach..so scary la..then i dunno why i went out the sea then realised that my main sheet rig wrongly..then i duno wad happen liao..then that's the end..so weird..


work is really getting more and more slack and tiring..we're now only left wif 31 cartons of 615 to be completed..hope still got 1 more batch of 655 coming in cos i wan more $..haha..
o yea, today they celebrated the March babies BD(for full timers)..got abt 7 of them born in Mar..then we had blackforest cake..then cake damn nice la!! it's the nicest blackforest cake i ever eaten sia..

theory lesson is like the same thing again and again..still got 1 more month and that's it for my Fri lesson and i can haf my Fri(s) free!! i simply luv Fri(s)..

be true to urself

10:31 PM

Thursday, February 28, 2008

o yea, i forgotten to post abt sumthing..
my elder brother msg-ed me ytd when Eli and I were waiting for train at Raffles Place..then he said "Hey where are you? come back quick! a terrorist is on the run & police are man hunting so dont stay out"..i thought he was kidding wif me la..then i saw Eli then she said "looks real"..then i said "cannot be la..that time i jus watched the Russian terrorist show wif him at home, must be jk la he.." then today i saw the newspaper during my lunch break..on the frontpage some more la..it's seriously true..stupid brother la..his sms will nv add a "haha" or "lol" wan la..who noes if he's jk or not..then i super scared..then i msg-ed Eli to tell her that it's true..
Me: hey, the terrorist thing is real..the newspaper got say..
Eli: yup, my mum told me just now.
Me: lol..scary la..he still not caught yet..
Eli: maybe hidding near ur house..
Me: choy..i dun wan him to bomb my house man..lol.
Eli: lol..careful ah..later he go ur house steal your 1 eye sheep. hehe.
Me: wa..i'm not scared..haha..he dare to steal, i will shoot him to death..
Eli: wif ur brother's toy gun? lol.
this gal ar, getting more and more humorous huh..lol..but seriously speaking la..i'm super scared..i'm scared of all these terrorist, suicide bombers, murderers, kidnappers...maybe my previous life's life was killed by either of them..o yea, i'm also scared of getting lost..i'm serious..i rather die than lost and nv be found..
jus now received a sms..heard that MQ got GPA of 4..wth la..why are ppl so damn smart but me, so..i dun wanna use that word la..i wont say myself using that word..it's insulting my parents..it makes me more upset la..and cos of something else too that make me super sad now..only i myself noe abt this and thinking of which, i feel real sad..

today supposed to start work at 9am..but i 8:20 then leave the house..so started work at 10am instead...the rest of the days shall be 10am too..i rather earn lesser than waking up so early..we are left wif 40 cartons of 615 models to do and we were told to do the 655 models 1st...the 655 models are damn nice man..but then it takes a longer time to update..think that we will be spending the whole of tml updating the 655s..if i'm not wrong, Tues shall be the last day of work..estimation and provided that no more stocks are coming in..i wan my salary quick!! fast fast!!

be true to urself

11:08 PM

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

hmm..ytd worked alone..cos my workmate sick..and so, i completed updating and packing 32 cartons(which is = to 160 units) of router..
today i was slacking at work..sms-ing ppl for the meet up..my sms is going to explode AGAIN..my working pace was damn slow while LX was chiong-ing sia..our superior asked us if we want to go to work at 9 or 10 or the rest of our days there..then we agreed to 9am...earn 1 more hr of $..but it means taking away my 1 hr of sleep...and after which, i will be JOBLESS AGAIN!!

after work, went to meet up wif Terry, Ling and Eli..we went for window shopping instead of movie..after which to Heeren then to Newton for our dinner..our dinner was sumptous..Chilli Crab, Black Pepper Crab, Stingray, Satay and Chicken Wings..we were talking abt some IQ qns which Eli started 1st..lol!! next was my fave sentence.."I will give you a BIG BIG BD present ok"..this was told to Terry and Ling..haha..but to Terry, it will be big in size..and to Ling, it will be big in value..haha..then they were all guessing wad i wanna give them..funny sia..
Eli became my another Mummy..and to SW, you haf the same sis AGAIN..lol!! Eli and I were laughing and laughing..but she is more siao than me..haha..and to this gal, not very funny huh..think i didnt see you putting the lime juice on my drumstick...then she was laughing and laughing..and we were guessing wad she was laughing la..then i think i noe why..lol!! and i was once again a crazy gal over my dreams..i told them that i may consider going to Air Force or become an Air Stewardess...i'm real crazy...and i wanna go Alaska pls!! haha..now cannot even go to Malaysia la..

haiz..sian man..results out and i'm rather sad la..didnt meet my expectation..and pls dun ask me abt it anymore..i cna tell you my sailing results but not exam..haha..but then, i'm good in NTH!! be it studies, sailing, work, music, and others..everything is so lousy..

i'm very tired of my attitude already..i had even set rules for myself for the next semester..if still no improvement, i can kill myself liao la..

be true to urself

11:49 PM

Monday, February 25, 2008

sian man...work today..actually dun feel like going for work wan..but jus bare wif these last few days and that's it for this job..it's easy $, Mon-Fri only but need ppl when got assignments to do..sian half...today spent the whole day pasting stickers on the boxes..and taping the boxes up..tired sia..o yea, Li Xian and I bought chocos..then i was thinking which choco to buy..then she said i'm indecisive..until today still got ppl say me indecisive..maybe i still haven impro on this..but some things must really think..o yea, we had our choco and listening to radio when working..so relax..

tml gonna do updating of software AGAIN for another batch..SIAN MAN!! wad's more sian is that i today morning jus realised that my ears are being burnt by the sun too!! ytd cant sleep well..close my eyes and i can feel the burning at the corners of my eyes sia..wad's more scary is that whenever i close my eyes, i can see the scene of the race..all the BYTES, LASERS, 420..

i wan to take a plane pls!! but no budget airlines pls..i'm dreading to take 1 now..be it to BKK or HK or India...best will be Alaska..but i wanna go there wif a special person..haha..

this Fri met up dunno can change to Wed anot..if not, really no chance to go out wif that guy sia(real failure if this time fails)..and sorry to you gals and that guy the i forgotten that i haf a lesson on Fri..lol!!

be true to urself

8:36 PM

Sunday, February 24, 2008

today's NSC regatta day 2..
congrats to myself..lol..nth big deal la...but i rig the boat by myself except for the reef knot and that downhaul thing...lol..and i spent so long rigging lor..haha..the wind today is stronger than ytd sia...b4 even going out the sea, i was so damn scared already la..i haven even reach the race ground, Xinni and JT were going back to shore..they asked me if i had signed in..i was like..-_-'''...so sian la..need to go back shore again...then out to sea again..the race started on time...1st race, i got last..haha..i lose by a lot for the 1st race..at least not DNF can liao..lol!!
2nd race for today ok la..at least i'm not that noob afterall..haha..i tried to use another course..and i found out that it's faster for me..overtook some ppl..but still the last few..lol!! then got a ferry blocking when we're on the reach...lol..then some of them got sort of stall..haha...luckily i'm not that noob...but going downwind still lose to some of them..maybe i too fat liao la..at least i'm not the last for that race..haha..btw, that 333 guy again..the person whom i overtook ytd and today..lol..
o yea, saw A380 again..i think cos of the airshow la..but ytd i think is flying back to SG..
went out wif SW jus now..o yea, it's been like 2-3 months that i last ate pasta..and jus now, i cant finish that plate of pasta...lol..we bought a watch each..haha..i'm starting to spend my $ on watches now..be it fake one or real one..lol...but more the fake one bah..i'm not used to buying fake things last time..but now, diff liao..lol..nice can liao la..who cares..but still, i prefer things which are brandless yet nice..o yea, i wan to get my LuLu C Paris, SF's Incanto Shine and Vera Wang prefume!!! but no $$$!! which 1 should i get 1st? sian..

o yea, Happy BD to Mei Fang n Gary..