1stly, it's Yvonne's and Lynette's birthday last week...happy belated birthday...then on thurs, it was my birthday...the 8 of them(Ling, Shi Hua..they all) celebrated for me...every year same old style...they think i dunno...so obvious sia..nvm...at least they haf the heart...must Thank you all a lot...i'm very happy...then my family didnt celebrate for me...sad sia...not even a slice of cake...then these two days real upset...it's too long so i dun wish to say...nvm...ytd went to arcade wif Gina, Shu Wen and Shi Hua...i only stay a while then go liao cos got organ lesson...sian man...organ fees increase to $168 per month...my mum's gonna haf a hard time cos still haf theory fees and i think it's gonna increase again cos upgrade... be true to urself
1:27 PM Friday, September 30, 2005
todae is the end of year for eng...hope that i can at least get a B4 for overall...wish bah...feeling sad...i surely fail badly wan...if not then a mere pass...todae learn new topic for theory...hope to take grade 8 theory and grade 6 pract by next year june if not i can take pract 1st by march...i only wish to focus more on my studies now...i neglected on my studies for years...i didnt put in a single effort in my studies or should i say is everything...haiz...
be true to urself
11:17 PM
Thursday, September 29, 2005
todae was feeling quite despondent...cos of many things...but i thought for a very long time le...i wish that i could haf another chance so that i can make up my mistakes...i cant forget abt the MEP pract on mon...i starting was too fast le but i try to slow down then cant...while playing, i noe i made lots of mistakes and i noe where i stand...i made the most mistakes on my pedals...then i almost cry...then Mr Lee asked me to play some parts of other songs for him to listen so that he can tell me what to play for the 'O' levels...i haf chosen the wrong song this time...actually not really wrong la is cos the tempo is moderate...then he ask me to choose one that is slow and one fast for 'O' levels...it may be a big challenge to me cos my organ does not really haf the function for the tempo...and i would always play faster than the original of the fast song or slower when the song is slow...like The Entertainer that i played for months b4 going for exams last grade...but then it is always like this wan lei...i practice real hard and well wan rite, the examiners dun choose it and choose those which i play only recently...then i also think that i'm too selfish cos i wan a new organ but then it costs quite a lot...if i every week book a studio, i will eventually broke...the non-peak hours also need $10.50 for an hour...and i pay it using my pocket money...i still owe my brother $100 over dollars and $80 over dollars to my dad...still need save up for overseas studies + overseas trip, organ exam, MEP and many many more...then Jason Sien sms agian...i thought that he wun sms le cos it's nearly a month since he last call and sms me...but todae he asked me wanna meet him anot...i'm now confused...tml is Eng enf of year le...jus hope that i can do well for all the subjects this time...
be true to urself
9:23 PM
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
I'm officially 15 todae...actually quite despondent but also jubilant...so sad cos my closest cousin who will without fail at least sent me a greeting and give me a present every year...maybe cos of my father and my uncle's misunderstandings bah...but very grateful to you all...esp Shi Hua, Eliz, Ling, Shu Wen, Shu Yun, Mei Fang, Hui Xian and many more...thanks for all the greetings...presents and the cake...i haf waited for years but that wish will nv fulfil...
be true to urself
8:16 PM
Sunday, September 25, 2005
i was actually quite jovial the past 2 days cos of some improvements in my music...both theory and pract...but then i'm quite scared of tml's MEP pract...i surely out of beat wan lor...nvm...jus wish myself good luck...must haf more confidence...then todae went out wif Shu Wen and we went to the Central Lending Library...go up every floor...had a great time...then went to the Mac nearby...taught each other a and e math...did my poa...and speech...then i call my dad asking if they are going out to eat or wad...then we went to Tiong and i bought a slice of Black forest cake for my dad as it was his birthday todae...jus wanna say that though i hated you for some time, you are still my dad and i'm sry for was i haf done...anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! i cant really promise that i can fulfil your dream as it is really to my extent that you cant force me to study wad i dun really like and haf to act infront of all my peers, cousins, uncles, aunts and etc. that i really like to study that particular course in poly....however, you are still my dad...then i came home saw no one at home...my illusion tells me that they are out for dinner...i'm worried that he wun eat that cake and i will be angry...they are not gonna celebrate my birthday for sure...last year still scolded me on my birthday...wad can i do...i cant scold them...nvm...
be true to urself
7:06 PM
Sunday, September 11, 2005
ytd went to help my parents at their stall...it's been 2 months since i last help them and a customer was not very happy abt my service...i added the toppings that she wanted but then that is the most i can add for her...or else i will be sacked by my dad...the ingredients for the food need money also lei...then forget it...worse one was being sort of scolded at last time...then went home by myself...until 4plus went for organ lesson...i was quite despondent cos i was being asked to play Lawrence of Arabia on the teacher's organ...i didnt practice at home so went there only noe how to play rite hand and pedal...then the other guy played very well...then teacher checked on our playing of part a to the chorus there on each of us...actually it's not that difficult...but it jus needed some time...then we also played Whiter shade of pale, Voyager, Final Fantasy and ET...luckily teacher didnt ask me to play ET again...then i booked a studio for my MEP prac on 26th sep...the studio with stagea and costs me $15.75 an hour...cos peak hours...then at night when watching tv that time, got a stranger knock on the door very forcefully and trying to open the door...then he was shouting very loudly also...i was very scared...then my father act one lor...go open the door then the person said sry cos wrong house...i thought that person was JASON SIEN lei...now i so scared...todae did my hw...watch tv and maybe going out wif my parents later...then packed my MEP file and i think that we are going to get bak our test paper tml and i dunno how...i screwed up the paper surely die wan lor tml...must do well for prac liao and my EOY...o ya...ytd had a bad dream again...i now really very scared...
be true to urself
3:52 PM
Sunday, September 04, 2005
todae woke up very late...11am...then did some hw...then ate my breakfast cum lunch...i cant eat finish then throw away...my elder brother went to hospital for check up...the doctor say he is stomach swollen then etc...luckily no need operation...i hope i'm not the same prob as him...mine is either my illusion or more complexed...cos he need to go hospital then i had to stay alone at home...my parents 4plus then came home...i practice my organ...i didnt dare to asked my mum abt buying an organ for me...i gave her subtle hints...but no response...forget it...i also noe i'm so lousy...buy le also no diff...then i'm also wondering...if i really had probs wif my health then i would be the one spending the most money among my brothers...then Jason Sien sms again...i ignored him...then i dunno why todae keep on scaring myself...now my heart feel quite pain...and the kidney there...but i think is i think too much le bah...if it's really that pain then i wun be here blogging...
be true to urself
9:43 PM
Friday, September 02, 2005
ytd went to PS cos i haf booked a studio for practicing...costs me $10.50 an hour...it was great cos i get to use the Stagea...and EL-900...there are also other models but as gd as these 2...after that, went to meet Shu Wen, Shu Yun and Eliz...i bought dark choco and biscuit for my 3 meals as i didnt eat yet and even when i reach home...then we waited for Emily and went to play pool...i am so lousy...then abt 6 or 7plus, Leslie, Regan, Mayson, Jun Hong, Jin Hao, Tracy, Joacquim came...they played lan games...then we play until 8 plus went home...then i watch tv until 11pm...did my theory hw until 12plus...todae went back to sch...dunno why i lost my chinese "si han" book...strange...i asked a lot of people they say got hear teacher calling my name when giving out that time...the we get to noe our overall marks...i fail Eng...why isit always Eng that i failed...but nvm...still got end of year to catch up...everyone should also jia you...i felt disappointed cos some of the classmated failed 3 subs then i only fail 1...i think i didnt care abt their concern...i'm so SORRY...i think that my expectations are always very high...however, no matter how much effort i out in, i will nv get gd results...and my parents will nv be gratified...went for theory lesson...i'm elated...luckily my effort out in ytd is not wasted...i spend one hour doing all 8 pages and i need not redo any...todae i haf learned a lot of new things...i would feel jubilant if i had learn somthing new, understand it well and knowing hoe to do...then went to a Jap restuarant wif my parents...ate Tom Yam ramen...so spicy that my gastric hurts when i reach home...but not that pain...i dunno why these days sometimes will get gastric pain then heart pain and my old sickness...ate a ice-cream mooncake...did my theory hw again...
be true to urself
11:56 PM
Friday, April 28, 2006
these few days were very disappointed...i haven started on any revision and i'm gonna be dead especially for MEP paper 1...today's English is gonna flunk like siao...jus had MEP paper 3...which is practical...Lion Heart was alrite but my FFX song pulled my marks down...my rhythm was not on time...last year EOY was Tsunami then now FFX...both are my fave songs and it was easy to play but when i play with the background music, it sucks...haiz...today shi hua and ling came to my house...actually wanna study wan but end up playing...i'm now very scared...but there's no one to help me to overcome this fear...i dun wanna end up going to IMH...or having depression again...or should i say that i dun even haf depression in the 1st place...jus that ppl dunno...i'm so jubilant...
be true to urself
7:33 PM
Monday, April 24, 2006
i haf thought through le...i think that he still like a gal very much...anyway, i jus wanna say that he's getting cool and wanna wish him all the best...no matter who he's with, he will haf my blessings...and most importantly, the person must be the gal he really loves and the gal must nv ever betray his feelings or else she will die under my hands...if he's happy, i will be happy...if he's sad, i will be sad..having to confess to him for 4 times and having to be rejected everytime, i wanna tell him that i really LOVE him...though i didnt did anything for him, he's still the best that nobody can replace...i will not lose heart so easily and will nv forget abt him...
be true to urself
11:14 PM
Sunday, April 23, 2006
these few days dunno whether am i happy or sad...anyway, Leslie's nick has finally changed...he wrote "I'm going crazy over u....juz touch me baby" but i wonder who's that lucky gal...no matter who that is...whether my rival or wad...i dun care...i dun really treat the person he love as a rival cos i noe that i love him...on fri, saw Joanne when going to ACS(i) for MEP...we went there together...i felt so strange when a chio bu stand beside a "chio bu"...it's like very uncomfortable lor...she so tall and so chio then i sucks like dunno wad...the Mr Lee told us our timing for the Mid-Year Paper 3(practical)...so sian wan...last year end of year my timing was at 7pm...then this year mid-year at 5:30pm...always the last one...then i got Mr Lee's hp no...cos he scared i cant book the studio at Yamaha...on sat, went back to sch for poa...then Shu Wen and Ling came to my house and play...then i went for organ lesson...i was late...then they haf finished playing a song when i reached there...heard that Cheryl is leaving for Australia in July...that's great lor...go overseas for futher studies for her U cert...i wun get a chance...anyway, all the best to you Cheryl! Cheryl really rox lor...her studies, organ, guitar...all so pro...she's taking her organ exam in June...juz wanna wish her good luck...today went to help my dad...so sick and tired le...today got a sales person who is working for Subaru came and buy food was wearing the Subaru shirt...i told my mum that i really wan to work in a car company as a part time job but she objected...last time i told my dad, he scolded me and nag nag nag...now, my mum nag nag nag...i dunno why my parents dun understand wad i really wan...they dun like everything i do, say and wish for...
be true to urself
9:58 PM
Friday, April 14, 2006
todae afternoon went to play bbal wif Tracy they all...playing a while then rain heavily...so we went to the void deck and waited...after waiting, the guys continued playing while Tracy they all went to eat and i went home...at 4 plus, went out to go and meet Samantha they all at City Hall...i was the earliest then Qi You and Rebecca came...so we 3 went walking arnd...then someone called my hp and the person should be Leslie they all...cos the no is Leslie's phone no...then i was stunned then didnt reply...then the other call was from Zhi Han's phone and the other from Jin Hao's phone...then Jin Hao said "wad party are you opening" then i said "2/6 party" then he said "why you only ask Leslie nv ask us"...then Rebecca di siao so she called Leslie's phone and then said that she was me...then when i ans the phone, that person on Leslie's phone said "dun call back liao"...then i was like...wad haf i done wrong...not i call wan wad...then met Samantha then she told me not to give up on him...then all of us went to the gluttons area at Esplanade there to eat...then we went for the Haydn's Trumpet Concerto...the trumpeter was awesome sia...wad i dun like was the ending...45 mins non-stop playing and i almost fell asleep...after the concert, Naomi, Samantha, Wei Zhi, Evan, Jeff and i went to eat ice-cream at Andersen's of Denmark Cafe at Marina Square...actually we wanted to eat at Haagen Dazs but must wait for 20mins...we ordered the Family Fondue...was fantastic...costs $34.50 but i pay extra of $4 plus...but nvm...i enjoyed it and it's my 1st time sharing food wif the 5 of them...reach home at abt 11pm...
be true to urself
11:51 PM
Sunday, April 09, 2006
on fri, went for MEP...b4 that was my Chi oral exam...talked quite a lot but my reading was sucks...at MEP. we did on the differences between the 18th century and 20th century instruments...then we marked the melody writing for each other...i only got 19/25...a few had 25 and many had 20...but luckily it's not gonna be recorded in our report card...on sat, went for CO...then had organ lesson...my mood isnt very good after teacher had said that most prob only Cheryl can take the exam in June cos she had completed her A level and she is only left wif her arrangements...i am also left wif my arrangements but i haf no time to write as there are tonnes of hw to do...then wad makes me feel worse is Benjamin...i played Lion Heart, then i cant catch some notes then he said that i played wrongly...and is that everybody can hear wan lor...make me feel so embarassed and always sing praises to Cheryl...but nvm...Leslie is not like that can liao...today is my 1st time that i didnt go and pray my grandparents and uncle, aunties...haiz...cos got to do hw...hope that tml can be a better day...
be true to urself
6:42 PM
Sunday, April 02, 2006
it was the 1st day of the "camp" on fri...it is the only day which i'm the happiest of all the 3 days...we had 3 trainers...Amin, Danny and Wayne and of course the music man, Chun Lay...Amin was the one who made us laugh the most and also cry the most...on the 1st day after the course, Shi Hua, Ling Ling, Mei Fang, Emily and i went to Tiong Bahru market wif Marcus they all...at 1st, i thought that Leslie didnt go and Jun Hong they all say that he sending his girlfriend home then i was very depressed...but in the end he came...my mood was like 360 degrees turn back...then while Shi Hua was waiting with me for bus, Marvin they all walked past then Marvin said abt Leslie la then he knocked on the advertisement the thing...we laugh our ass off...so funny...the 2nd day, Amin talked abt some things that made us sad then many ppl cried...i'm one of them...then when we went home, Jun Hong they all board the same bus as us but *he* was not there...on the 3rd day, we went to sch on Emily's father's van...Shi Hua told me that Leslie, Joel, Carmen and Lynette sat on the same cab then Joel purposely sit infront then...forget it...maybe i think too much...then we wrote letters to our peers and the trainers...Jun Hong wrote me a letter that was so funny and i wrote to 23 ppl...then on the closing ceremony, many ppl cried...me too...Leslie also cried...i dunno wad's the reason but i feel sad when i saw him cry and this was the 1st time i saw him cry...after leaving the sch, i asked Jun Hong to tell him not to cry liao but dunno how...haiz...and thinking back, i haf regretted that my parents didnt went to sch ytd...i dunno how now...i dare to confess to *him*...but dun dare to say SORRY and I LOVE YOU to my parents cos i dunno where to start from...such a disappointement...
be true to urself
11:05 PM
